My 30's

Men Have No Idea

April 19, 2010 at 10:12 pm 2 comments

Today was my annual trip to the Girly Doctor.  I should probably go more than every couple of years, considering it’s an annual check up, and since I’m apparently reaching the end of my most fertile years, which my doctor was kind enough to remind me during our appointment.

“So… any more babies?”

No, I don’t think so…although having to stare at all these baby pictures for the last fifteen minutes is making me think otherwise!

“Cause you know…it starts getting more difficult to get pregnant with each year”

Great doc, thanks!  I thought I was done, until you jolted my biological clock…  (Why is it, when the possibility of not being able to have something makes you want it?)

On my way home, driving on the freeway, trying to erase the last 30 minutes from my memory, I was reminded once again that…

Men really have no clue what women go through

Some may get a glimpse into our world by growing up with a sister or having an open relationship with a spouse.  They may witness the perils of waxing sensitive areas or the hours it takes straightening wavy hair, but these men are still clueless when it comes the true hardships of being a woman.  

I think there are three main areas of womanhood that a man will never understand, nor would be able to handle if the tables were ever turned. 

Menstruation, Childbirth and OB/GYN visits.

• Our Monthly Visitor – There is only one reason guys are happy around this time of the month and it’s not because they want to earn their Red Wings.  They secretly do their Happy Dance at this time of our cycle because it confirms their guys didn’t swim this month and they have 28 or so more days of  relaxing before the panic sets in again.  Although guys have a basic idea what happens during those miserable 3-7 days, they have no idea what we deal with every 4-8 hours.  If any of us were to sit down with them and explain in detail, I think many of them would lose their lunch. 

• Popping Out a Watermelon – I’m sorry, but this has to be the most disgusting bodily function of all…and I can say that because I have done it.  I remember the doctor asking if I wanted to see and touch the head when it crowned, which I did… and honestly responded with “Eww, that’s gross”  (sorry lil man but it’s true).  Giving birth is an emotionally beautiful thing, but had someone warned me that your water doesn’t just break, it continues to flow and you essentially leak from top to bottom for the next 6+ weeks, I may have reconsidered.  Let’s not even get into the other things that come out during and after labor.  Yes, it is an absolute miracle and a truly amazing moment in life – but one that people involved never speak of intricate details, ever…for good reason.

• PAP Smears -  Where do I begin with this one?  So, guys…what would you do if you were laying on a table spread eagle, covered only in a light hospital gown and paper apron with someone thoroughly inspecting your nether region?  Oh wait, I can’t forget the painful cotton swab, the awkward breast exam and feeling for the position of the uterus from the inside out.  Aww, it’s an absolute thrill, let me tell you.  I dread each and every one…and even though it only lasts a few minutes, they have to be the worst moments of being a woman.

So, for you guys out there, the next time your woman starts bawling for no reason…takes too long getting ready…or spends too much money on a pair of sexy new shoes… give her a little slack.  She deals with a lot of crap for just having a vagina

Entry filed under: Beauty & Fitness, Being A Single Mom, Getting Old. Tags: being a woman, daily life, motherhood.