Posts tagged ‘being 30’
In the last year or so, putting on makeup or doing my hair in the mirror has become a real struggle for me. It’s not the MAC makeup or the recent switch in shampoo that depresses me. It is the fact that I’m starting not to recognize the face staring back at me.
Not only do I notice the appearance of those fine lines and wrinkles the television is always warning me about, but these ‘strange’ red bumps have begun appearing around my jaw line.
Great, I now have the skin of a pubescent teenager with the crows feet and laugh lines of a middle-aged woman. Real funny, higher power above.
After months of struggling with acne skin care products, changing makeup, switching moisturizer, all to no avail (and at the strong suggestion of my boyfriend), I finally decided to go see a dermatologist.
As I walked into the doctor’s office and checked in with the front desk, I looked around at all the assistants with glowing radiant skin. Not one of them had a red bump, laugh line or dark hairs growing from their chin. It must be nice to work at a dermatologist’s office, I thought to myself.
“So, how long have you been struggling with acne?” the doctor asked.
“Maybe six months or so,” I answered.
After going through the many causes of adult acne, the doctor then asks…
“Do you have any stress?”
Hmmm. Let’s see…. in the last six months I was miserable working at a job I couldn’t stand, I was juggling life as a single mom… I quit my ‘koosh’ job to follow my dreams of starting a business, moved in with my boyfriend, sold most of my belongings to fit into his house, enrolled my son in kindergarten, started working on being a entrepeneur with absolutely no income…
Nope! No stress, doc. None at all.
So, I’m hoping the prescription for the antibiotics and topical cream will not only clear up my ever aging skin…but will clear up this hectic crazy life I’m living at the moment!!
(hence the lack of posts lately!)
I don’t know what it is about having a nice meal, outside on a warm, sunny day that makes life so enjoyable? It is probably a combination of the glass of cool chardonnay sparkling in the sun, the pure entertainment of people passing by and the hysterical conversations with great friends that makes “lunching” one of my favorite hobbies.
Going out to eat has always been a pastime for my group of girlfriends. As soon as we could legally drive, our nights out always started off at a restaurant somewhere. In our teens, it was fast food or Red Lobster…in our twenties, it was anywhere with a full bar. Now that we are in our thirties, the restaurant has become the destination, not starting point, and the establishments have increased in class and price. During a recent hobby lunch with one of my besties, I was reminded (once again) how different life is as a thirty-something woman.
During lunch we began talking about our love lives, like most women during any female bonding session. In between bites of her asian inspired seared scallops, my best friend started explaining how dating in her thirties is a whole new experience.
“Men only want one thing, and when you are over 30, they don’t want it from you”
I had to contain myself from spitting out the sip of cold water I had just poured into my mouth! It was so funny, because it is TRUE.
Her blatantly honest statement about men’s subconscious attraction to youth initiated a walk down memory lane. We took a trip back in time together to ten years ago. A time when we could walk into any bar or restaurant and naturally grab the attention of almost every male patron. Not that we were Victoria Secret models or anything. We were just two young decent looking girls always smiling, laughing and having a good time.
Fast forward to the present. We are the same decent looking ladies, always smiling, laughing and having a good time…but add some crows feet and laugh lines. We may get a couple head turns, but only if they’re over 30. Now we attract the somewhat creepy guy, pushing his late fifties wishing he was 20 years younger…or if we’re lucky, maybe the Dad out to dinner with the kids while mom’s out getting a mani/pedi.
Which I guess, all works out since those guys are probably our target market now anyways (well, minus the married guy!) It’s just strange getting old…especially when you are a woman.
You know, I really loved watching Sex in the City when it was on 10 years ago… but I appreciate it A LOT more now that I am in my thirties. I can relate more with Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte now that I see the world through their eyes.
The Cougar Stamp
Dating is such an interesting experience. There is the awkwardness of getting to know one another, the meeting of friends and family and of course, the all alluring establishment of titles. With dating, you can go through the whole uneasy process, date for a whole year or two, then all of a sudden come to uncover certain things about the other person that are complete and total deal breakers!
Wouldn’t courtship be much easier if we were all required to carry Dating Passports? All of our baggage would be nicely printed inside these handy little booklets, for any prospective suitor to view before the first date. Instead of stamps from various Customs Administrations lining each page, you would have things like “Ex Still on Pedestal” or “Fear of Heights and Committment.” Rich men that only dated much younger Barbie Doll replicas would be stamped with “Heph” and any woman over the age of 29 that ever dated a man in his twenties, would have the word “COUGAR” stamped on the very front page.
From Hilarious to Respect
In my 20′s, I thought the term ‘Cougar’ was pretty hilarious. I felt the word did a pretty accurate job of portraying most of the older women we saw participating in the nightlife scene.
The women were obviously older and overly dressed up. Their wardrobe normally consisted of items that were just a bit out of style. They hung out in the higher class bars and restaurants and always seemed to have the look of desperation hiding behind all their makeup.
Now that I am in my 30′s, I have a whole different outlook on the term Cougar. As a member of a their age bracket, I have a new respect for those women I saw ten years ago, having a night out on the town with their girls.
Yes, a number of them may have been out on the prowl, in desperate hopes of finding a man…but I now know (from experience) the majority were probably just out having fun with their girlfriends.
Watching my single girlfriends become the Cougar in question, also changed my feelings for the term. My girlfriends are beautiful and fun-loving women that are just out to have a good time. Their amazing qualities have a tendency to attract attention from younger men whenever we go out. They have dated a few of the guys, here and there. Not because they were preying on the helpless but just because the two of them enjoyed each other’s company, in whatever capacity that was… wink, wink.
On the prowl?
Instead of seeing her as a predator out to pounce on the less experienced, I see the Cougar as a fun-loving woman who is just young at heart!
Though she may not appear as youthful as the fresh-faced co-ed sitting at the next table, the Cougar definitely has more personality, spirit and experience that attracts the younger man and keeps him around, wanting more.
They next time you see a Cougar Couple walking down the street, remember that younger guy was able to get beyond the year the woman graduated high school to see her inner youth….(and I bet he is benefitting from that in many different ways, if you know what I mean )
To all you single moms and single ladies out there in your 30′s, don’t let the term Cougar get you down! Think of it as a compliment. It not only means you are HOT for your age…but it means you don’t act your age either! Which will always keep you young….at heart.
all down hill from here
We all know, as you get older your outside appearance and body begins to change. Your hair turns gray, wrinkles appear out of no where and you can no longer sit in one place too long without making some sort of grunting sound when getting up. These all sound like things that happen when you’re in your 50′s , right?
Ummm yeah… not exactly.
Try, in your thirties!
One morning, during your thirties, you’ll wake up to find things a bit different than they were when you went to bed. You will find that a little tiny crow walked all over your face while you were sleeping and left his damn footprints in permanent ink, next to your eyes. Oh, and those blonde hairs growing out of your chin or nose… yeah, they grew overnight and turned jet black and thick as a wire. You will also find that your body now rejects all aspects of your lifestyle of the past decade. It strictly forbids participating in keg stands or beer bongs and no longer accepts staying up all hours of the night. Your stomach disagrees with your orders of “medium spicy” Thai food or your greasy fast food binges and your ears no longer tolerate loud music or noisy restaurants.
All those birthday cards and gag gifts you received on your 30th birthday were telling the truth – you ARE over the hill.
Take another look in the mirror
There is also a very subtle change that begins at age 30, one that may go unnoticed for some time. It is a change that, for some, may be more frightening than seeing the physical signs of aging.
In your thirties… you begin… turning into… YOUR PARENTS!
I am sorry to be the one to break the news to you… but it is true.
Not only have I seen it first hand with most of my friends, but I have experienced the strange phenomenon myself. I now wear golf clothes, even when I am not playing golf. I tend to be drawn to frosted lipsticks and salads with candied walnuts. I fall asleep on the couch and get cranky when I am woken up to go to bed. I get tipsy off one glass of wine. I trail off at the end of a sentence when talking and just mouth the rest of the words…
At age 31, I am not only a mom… I am my mom
So, I guess if you want to see what your future holds, you can either pay a fortune teller, buy a crystal ball or just take out an old family portrait. From my experience, my bet’s on the family photo.