Posts tagged ‘fitness’
It’s amazing what growing a tiny human being inside for nine months can do to your body. While some changes can be positive, like the increase in breast size, most are unfortunately negative.
For those of you who have not yet experienced child-birth (from either end of the stirrups), things look a bit different after a woman “squeezes a watermelon through her nostril.” She will have much fuller lips than before, but in a very different way than Angelina Jolie. It will appear as though a spare tire was lodged underneath the skin of her midsection and her cute little rear end will be replaced with two flat hamhocks.
I remember talking to my mother one day, after having my little boy. I had lost most of the baby weight, by doing Winsor Pilates, but couldn’t figure out what had happened to my once perky and round behind. It vanished and left behind the infamous MOM BUTT.
“My butt is so flat”… I remember mentioning.
To which I didn’t get much of a response…which either indicates some type of agreement or a lack of a positive comment!
Keeping up with the Pilates definitely helped get my lady lumps near their pre-baby form, but they still showed remnants of motherhood. (wow, did I really just call them lady lumps?) No matter how many leg lifts or painful clams I did with Pilates, I couldn’t seem to get the sides to recede.
Pilates successfully eliminated my mom derriere, but I still wanted to get its 20-year-old shape back… if at all possible. So, in hopes of getting back some part of my youth, I ended up ordering my second infomercial workout, the Brazil Butt Lift
In an effort not to sound like one of the women in the commercial sharing her amazing success story, I will just say… This workout is a MUST HAVE for any single, married or divorced mother! (or any woman for that matter!)
It is a difficult workout, but worth every sore muscle…and you will find butt muscles you never knew you had after each workout! It kicks my a@# every time, literally. If I find myself wanting to stop, or perhaps cry at the burning sensation attacking my butt and thighs, I picture the ladies of SNL in their Mom Jeans. I can then block out the pain with visions of my new and improved mom butt in a skimpy swimsuit this summer!
Goodbye Mom Butt, Hello Brazilian Bum!
The Daily ‘To Do’ List of a Single Mom
- Make Breakfast
- Clean House
- Do Laundry
- Make Dinner
- Help with Homework
- Shuttle to/from School
- Work Somewhere in Between
- Maybe Shower?
- Maybe Eat?
If you are like me, as a single mom, you barely have time to take care of everyone else, let alone the ENERGY to take care of yourself.
At the end of the day, I would much rather sit down with a glass of wine and a magazine or snuggle up on the couch with a movie, than get on my workout clothes and bounce around getting all sweaty and winded.
Who wants to do that? No thank you!
Well, that’s exactly what my ass said to my skinny jeans after 6 months (okay maybe 8-12) months of being on exercise strike. No thank you.
In an effort to lose the Mom Butt for the more firmer, higher version of my youth, I recently brought out the ol’ workout videos I initially used to burn off the 40 lbs of baby weight I packed on during my pregnancy – Winsor Pilates
I definitely got my monies worth with the DVD pack I bought four years ago.
After having my son, I lost most all of the baby weight within 3-4 months and I definitely see/feel a difference in the just the couple of weeks I’ve been back on the wagon.
The great thing about the se workouts…and what makes them absolutely perfect for us Single Moms…is that most all of them are 20 minutes long! When I start to hear that little voice saying, “Why don’t you skip tonight and have that cookie instead” I remind myself that it’s only 20 minutes. That’s quicker than an episode of Housewives of Atlanta…and much better for the ass of course.
Also, I never feel out of breath at the end of a workout. I hate the gym, I hate working out and I hate sweating… ugh
You’re probably expecting the ShamWow guy to pop out any second and say that you’ll “love his nuts”. My goal is not to sound like a cheesy infomercial. I just really can’t stress how much I love these workouts and I want all other moms out there to know you DO have the time and energy to look amazing!
They really are the Perfect Workout for Single Moms… actually any Mom, of any age. I finally coerced my mother into trying Pilates and she’s hooked now too!