Posts tagged ‘working mom’

Say Goodbye to Mom Butt!

It’s amazing what growing a tiny human being inside for nine months can do to your body.  While some changes can be positive, like the increase in breast size, most are unfortunately negative. 

For those of you who have not yet experienced child-birth (from either end of the stirrups),  things look a bit different after a woman “squeezes a watermelon through her nostril.”  She will have much fuller lips than before, but in a very different way than Angelina Jolie.  It will appear as though a spare tire was lodged underneath the skin of her midsection and her cute little rear end will be replaced with two flat hamhocks.   

I remember talking to my mother one day, after having my little boy.  I had lost most of the baby weight, by doing Winsor Pilates, but couldn’t figure out what had happened to my once perky and round behind.  It vanished and left behind the infamous MOM BUTT. 

“My butt is so flat”… I remember mentioning. 

To which I didn’t get much of a response…which either indicates some type of agreement or a lack of a positive comment!

Keeping up with the Pilates definitely helped get my lady lumps near their pre-baby form, but they still showed remnants of motherhood.  (wow, did I really just call them lady lumps?)  No matter how many leg lifts or painful clams I did with Pilates, I couldn’t seem to get the sides to recede. 

Pilates successfully eliminated my mom derriere, but I still wanted to get its 20-year-old shape back… if at all possible.  So, in hopes of getting back some part of my youth, I ended up ordering my second infomercial workout, the Brazil Butt Lift

In an effort not to sound like one of the women in the commercial sharing her amazing success story, I will just say… This workout is a MUST HAVE for any single, married or divorced mother!  (or any woman for that matter!)

It is a difficult workout, but worth every sore muscle…and you will find butt muscles you never knew you had after each workout!  It kicks my a@# every time, literally.  If I find myself wanting to stop, or perhaps cry at the burning sensation attacking my butt and thighs, I picture the ladies of SNL in their Mom Jeans.  I can then block out the pain with visions of my new and improved mom butt in a skimpy swimsuit this summer!

Goodbye Mom Butt, Hello Brazilian Bum!

March 30, 2010 at 10:04 pm 3 comments

Julia Child, I am Not

If I could wave a magic wand and give myself three talents, they would have to be singing, dancing sober and cooking. 

I would love to be able to whip up gourmet meals every day of the week and make homemade sauces and desserts to accompany my main course.  Unfortunately being a working, single soccer mom with an active four-year old doesn’t really allow for such creations. 

Okay, maybe it’s more that I lack the culinary skills… butdefinitely lack the time to learn.

If you are like me, cooking dinner on a weeknight can be as stressful as your day at work.  Around 5 o’clock in my house, you will find a pot of water about to boil over, burning garlic in the fry pan, a little boy in the background wanting to play with someone and an anxious mom in the kitchen trying to juggle it all! 

Luckily, I came across something that has helped smooth out our weekday routine.  I have found the Ultimate Single Mom Recipe!  This dish is a quick and easy way to get dinner on the table and is guaranteed to please even the pickiest toddler palate.  It has become my “go-to” meal whenever I find myself glazed over, standing in front of the open refrigerator door.  Not only is it easy to cook, but it’s versatile too.  You can pretty much add anything…sausage, peppers, chicken, tomatoes…  I’ve even added some heavy cream to make the sauce a little thicker.  Thanks to this recipe I can spend the end of a stressful day with a peaceful half hour of cooking and a nice meal with my little team!

Bon Appetit!

(photo by: Romulo Yanes)

Gourmet  | January 2009

by Ian Knauer

March 29, 2010 at 10:30 pm 2 comments

Burn Out Meter, Redlining!

The last couple of years have been difficult for me, personally and professionally.  I have dealt with attorneys & custody arrangements, struggled with co-parenting issues, learned how to be the maid, the cook and the taxi driver and, most importantly, helped a little boy emotionally deal with divorce.  Surprisingly, I did it all while working full-time in the Financial Industry during our “Great Recession.”  Not an easy time when the market is down 50%, your employer is looking to go out of business and your phone is ringing non-stop with frantic, concerned clients.

Lately, I have found a significant correlation between my overall mood and the day of the week.  On Saturday and Sunday I am a joyful, happy person.  Catch me on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday and you’ll find a sullen and irritable version of my weekend self.  I am the Corporate Dr Jekel, Mr Hyde.  The second my cellphone rings or my blackberry flashes red I turn into this angry, hideous monster ready to bite my clients’ head off.  I have found the only way to keep my sanity is to silence my phone and ignore my emails.  Great customer service, I know.  Luckily the antidote that eliminates this monster is picking my son up at daycare.  It is the best part of my day and brings the smile and laughter back to my world.

The emergence of my weekday short-tempered beast is probably a sign I am ready for a career change.  Well, that and the fact that a total stranger at Starbucks can even tell I am burnt out.  After a quick, emotional-less explanation of my sales role within the company he said, “Wow, if I had a Burnt Out Meter, you’d be red-lining!!” 

Okay, you can see that within two minutes of speaking with me…  Not good.

Leaving my job wouldn’t be as difficult if I just wanted to switch companies.  Unfortunately, I want out of Investments completely!  No more talking about mutual funds, large caps, asset allocation, retirement or the tax advantages of contributing to a 401(k)!  (As a side note though, for those thirtysomething moms out there that have not yet started saving for retirement… DO IT!  Seriously.  Okay, there, now I’m done!)  The hard part is, I have no other experience.  I took this job right out of college, thinking it was only temporary, and here I am 10 years later.  Not only does the risk of being a single, unemployed mother in this economy scare me into keeping my current job, but the perks are pretty hard to walk away from too; all-expense paid company car, Blackberry Curve, laptop, and home internet/phone…in addition to making my own schedule, good benefits and 4 weeks paid time off. 

Every time I think about turning in my resignation, this little voice inside my head says, “Who, in their right mind, would leave this kind of set up, in this tough economy?’  Yet then I wonder, is the steady paycheck worth risking my mental sanity? 

I think I would rather risk having financial difficulties than be an unhappy, miserable person every Monday through Friday from 9am-5pm. 

“Dear Middle Manager…”

 

March 7, 2010 at 12:35 am 3 comments

Mean Mom?

  june-cleaver-2

 

Sitting at a small round pedestal, that my favorite caffeine distributor calls a table, I clickety-clacked away on my laptop.  Since I was following up on work emails and not updating blog posts, my concentration was perhaps a bit lackadaisical, allowing my ears to wonder over to the table next to me.

“I think it’s because they’re working and don’t have the time… ”

 

“My child wouldn’t be putting their feet on the chair like that…”

 

“I don’t know why it’s different now than when we were raising kids… “

 

My ears perked up as I listened to the two older women chat beside me.  I couldn’t help but listen.  Not just because the ‘tables’  are so closely packed in, probably to prevent people like me from sitting there all day long and only paying $1.85 for free wifi, but the topic peaked my interest.

Over their cup of coffee, the two retired women were discussing parenthood and the differences between generations.  Their focus was on a father and his two children enjoying their mid-day snack on the comfy purple couches in the corner of the store.  The children were not the most well-mannered or behaved, but they also were not the worst I had seen either.  The women went back and forth about how they didn’t understand the parents of today and how they are so lax on manners and discipline nowadays.

Right then, I had to interrupt.

“Um excuse me…I couldn’t help but hear…”

 

“I just wanted to let you know that I completely agree with you ladies!”

 

The two of them sat there for a moment, as if in shock.  Their eyes widened and they stared at me for a few seconds, then looked as they had seen a ghost. 

“Really?”

 

They were shocked to hear that I was a working mom with a 4 year old little boy that strongly believed in discipline, structure, respect and manners. 

“My mom gave us discipline and structure and we would never think of disrespecting her in anyway.  We loved her for it,” one woman shared.

“I was strict with my kids, they even called me ‘Mean Mom’ sometimes… but they’re all doing real well for themselves now,” the other chimed in.

I then shared my thought that it’s just easier for parents to not do all those things…so nowadays most don’t.  They both agreed and said, “that’s completely it”

After bonding over a brief conversation about today’s parenting skills, or lack thereof, one woman turned to me and said something that has been echoing in my head ever since…

“You know you’re not the norm, Hun”

I sat there and recalled all the trips to the park, grocery stores and library. 

In that split second I realized;

I am not the mom on her Blackberry sitting on the bench at the park…I am the one playing tag or hide-n-seek. 

I am not the mom dealing with a screaming child at the grocery store…I am the one having my son count the apples as he puts them in the plastic bag.

I am not the mom using television or video games as a babysitter so I can get things done…I am the one coloring, painting or squishing playdoh in my hands and doing my chores on my time, not our time.

She is right.  I am not the ‘norm.’

And I’m proud of it  :)

August 26, 2009 at 11:56 pm 1 comment


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